An Apocalypse of Eels by J.S. Douglas

My wonderful cousin, Simon, gave me the story prompt: “My hovercraft is full of Eels.” I am sure I could have come up with some kind of thriller where that line is a code for something. Or maybe a book where eels take over a hovercraft and eat everyone on board or something. But, I don’t know very much about hovercrafts and that sounded like it would require quite a bit of research.

So, instead, I went for a story about a “soft” apocalypse. Something that doesn’t actually kill everyone, just completely changes our way of life. For better or for worse? You can decide.

An Apocalypse of Eels

by J.S. Douglas

Mari saw the red of the distress flare and sprung into action. She manually lowered her two-man kayak and herself down the side of her anchored ship. She’d been sitting at anchor for three days, waiting to see if someone would need her help. Her coastguard shift lasted four days, and, because it was summer and staffing was tight around planting and harvest season, she was all alone.

Pointing her kayak in the direction of the flare, she set out. The sea was relatively calm today, though there was no way to tell if a summer squall would hit. Her best bet was to go out, figure out what was going on, and help anyone she could with what she had on hand.

After about an hour of hard rowing, Mari saw it. 

A half-sunk hovercraft. The owner sat on the nose as the fan, and all heavier machinery pieces dipped below the water.

“Hello,” she called, waving an oar at the owner. 

“Hi!” he shouted. “Can you help me?”

“Sure, what seems to be the trouble?” she asked, pulling alongside the sinking vessel.

The man looked at her askance. 

“Are you kidding? Look at my hovercraft!”

“Yeah?” asked Mari. “The mods didn’t work, then?”

“No, clearly not,” the man’s sarcastic tone made Mari smile.

“Don’t get all pissy with me, Joseph. I told you it’d never work. I don’t know why you thought your hovercraft is different from everything else that uses electricity in the world.”

“Well, you don’t have to look so damn smug,” said Joseph, peering down at the water around his sunken vessel. “How do I get into your kayak without getting shocked or bit?” 

“You’re wearing a lifejacket; you’re just going to have to take a chance. Jump in.”

Joseph peered into the water again. 

“Huh,” he said.

“What?”

“See any eels?” 

“Now that you mention it,” said Mari, “No.”

She looked at the plastic bubble under the hovercraft, the one that would usually fill with air and make the craft float. It was squirming.

“There they are,” she pointed. 

Joseph looked and yelped, jumping into the water next to her kayak, nearly tipping it.

“Goddamn it, Joseph!” Mari shouted. “Give a girl a warning next time.” She used her weight to counterbalance Joseph as he pulled himself onboard the fiberglass vessel.

“My hovercraft is full of eels!” he exclaimed, panting.

“Well, they had to go somewhere!” she shouted back at him. “Now take this oar and help me row back to the ship.”

Later, after they’d returned to the ship and winched themselves aboard; after they’d dried off and gotten some stale water from a barrel; Joseph asked the question everyone on the planet had wondered about for the past ten years.

“How come anything that uses electricity gets filled with nasty, biting, shocking eels?”

“How the hell do I know?” asked Mari. “At this point, I’ve got a job, my family farm is doing well, we are fed, housed, clothed. Who knows, and who cares? Maybe it’s better this way.”

“Remember what it was like before?” asked Joseph dreamily, watching the sun setting.

“Yeah. Busy. Hot and getting hotter. Always on my phone. Social media driving everyone crazy.”

“Also ice cream, hot showers, fancy hotels, ebooks, tv shows, motorcycles, hovercrafts.”

“We can live without them, Joseph. You just need to accept that.”

Joseph squinted into the red, glowing horizon. 

“Do I? If no one tries to make the old things work, then we will never know if the eels are finally done with us.”

“But if we keep obsessing over the old things, we will never find a way to move forward. You know, carve out a life.”

Joseph sighed.

“Well, that was the last engine I had access to anyway. I guess I’ll have to find something else to look forward to.”

Mari peered at her friend. Shoulders slumped, chin propped up by a fist, he stared into the last rays of sunlight. She got up from her chair and leaned over him, giving him a squeeze.

“Maybe you’ll find something that makes you as happy as hovercrafts,” she whispered into his ear.

He chuckled, his breath tickling the damp hairs on the back of her neck.

“Maybe I will.”

The End

I hope you enjoyed the story! See you next week!